My brother met a woman on an LDS dating site a few years ago. Over time they began to IM and later to talk on the phone. She was going to Harvard to be a doctor, is in her mid-20s and is beautiful. She and my brother started talking quite a bit and he thought he was falling in love with her. There was only one problem - when she finally moved to Utah, and it was possible they could meet in real life - she always had last minute excuses and they never ended up meeting.

The excuses this woman made up got more and more out there and I was telling my brother that she probably wasn’t all she said she was. He was obviously affected each time she made plans and then backed out. She even went so far as to say that she needed heart surgery in another state. Also, that she went to Europe because her grandmother died. And then she got sick and had jet lag. It went on and on.

Our mom decided my brother should do some more research about his Internet girlfriend.  Pretty soon my brother found some other men who were corresponding with the same woman. Come to find out she was stringing them along with the exact same stories. She was talking on the phone to a few different guys - sometimes for several hours a day. He had lunch with one guy who was engaged to her but she stood him up when they were supposed to meet. He almost bought the ring but said he’d prefer she come with him to pick it up.

My brother confronted her and she admitted that she didn’t live in Utah, wasn’t who she said she was. She and her friends have a good time leading men on. What a waste. So what the moral of the story is - a real, average-looking person is much better than a beautiful, rich imaginary one. While it’s sad that she managed to lead so many men on, it’s also sad that they were so willing to buy into the fantasy.

Wait, did I just write that title?

I go in spurts with dating - attracting blocks of men who share similiar characteristics. For a while it was computer nerd types, so just about everyone I dated was employed as a computer programmer. Then I started getting men with mustaches. That is no joke, and I didn’t find it that amusing, even though one of them was persuaded to shave his, which improved his looks quite a bit.

Note to men: if you want to be kissed I suggest you lose the mustache. I guess I’m getting old enough that this must be addressed. Women out there, is this something you’ve faced?

Lately though there’s a new trend starting. I’m not attracting programmers or entrepreneurs, no. The overall feel is men who value their spirituality. Men with solid testimonies. Single dads (through divorce or being widowed). This is good news though funny enough they (so far) tend to fall within a certain look which I wouldn’t say was my preference. This leads me to ask can I get spirituality and attraction in one person? I believe it’s possible.

My son has been prodding me to hurry up and get remarried. He’s in first grade and so he has no clue how much work that is. I mean, this is for ETERNITY. Talk about anxiety over a decision. He knows full well how things go when eternity doesn’t last forever and I for one never ever ever want to put him or me through that again. These things are not for rushing though.

Seeing as how I just turned 36 I noticed a new phenomenon that really bugs. As a seasoned online dater I’m used to getting men older than me flirting and ignoring their flirts. However, men of all ages cut off their search for women at age 35. Therefore, I have dropped off many searches. The number of responses to my online profile has dropped to almost nothing. It’s sad I know.

So my answer is to start meeting people in real life. Strange, I know. I’m going to go to dances and such. I’ll tell you that a lot of quality women don’t go to activities because at the ripe age of 36, we have a child or two to take care of. Often young children and that means getting a babysitter or showing up to things every other weekend at the most.

I know I’m rambling but that is what this blog is for - my musings. Enjoy and happy dating.

The last time I used the internet for dating I got pretty skilled at casing people out. Most of the time I knew what I was in for. It was usually good (I know, hard to believe, but true).

Sometimes I had dumb luck. But truthfully, it’s been a while. You have to laugh at how completely “off” you can be in your perceptions of people. I’m so rusty.

I’m going to put links to all the dating sites on the blog now. Which LDS dating site do you prefer and why?