I dated another boy that was tall dark and handsome, but this is basically where the similarities to the first story ends. Goofy but sweet, he followed me around after we’d become acquainted, spending every evening just talking on my porch. Soon this boy and I were great friends which gradually turned into a little summer romance. He and I dated quite some time before we even kissed, and he never pressured me.

I remember one blistering summer afternoon he took me out to lunch on my work break. I had my hair pulled back in a nappy style and hadn’t had time to put on my makeup that morning. I was clean, but I certainly didn’t feel pretty, and I was a little blue over some problems with my car. This boy of mine didn’t probe me to find out what was the matter. He quietly held my hand and simply said, “You are so beautiful. No matter what, you will always be beautiful to me.”

I felt amazing then! He had a way of helping me see past the physical façade. That was just the way he was—simple but sincere. I wouldn’t trade all the suave tricks of the previous relationship for this experience. He made me feel so good about myself, not because he was flattering, but because he was a good person and inspired me to be the same.

So be careful who you date! They will affect you more than you know. It is important to be with someone that values you, but won’t it be so much easier for them to appreciate you if you appreciate yourself? Why should they be convinced that you are a great catch if you don’t believe it, too?

In conclusion, I believe that when you are firmly grounded in knowing who you are and enjoying what you do in life, you are in a position of stability. To be filled with love for another, you can’t have a bitter heart towards yourself.

Get your life straight first—don’t expect someone else to solve your problems for you. Greater happiness lies in the relationship of trust and love built from a healthy love of self that extends outward to love those around you. Be wise in your choice of companions, in friendship and dating, because they do have an effect on the way you view yourself, often times more than you think!