It’s a big weekend for singles as many come for conference and stay to socialize with other singles in Utah. I’m not sure what you do if you’re over 45 - but there are dances for almost all ages this Friday, October 3, 2008:

Conference Dance XXIX
South Towne Expo Center. 9pm-2am. Three dance floors- Top 40 Hip Hop, Country, Latin. 9450 South State Street Sandy. Text “UVU” or “BYU” to 83361 for $5 off.

Mid Singles Conference Dance Ages 30-45
Studio 600. 9pm-2am. 600 South 26 East SLC. Text “UVU” or “BYU” to 83361 for $5 off.

The Showdown Conference Dance
Liberty Land Fun Center. 9:30am-1am. Look for the light in the sky. 1320 North 300 West Lehi, Take Exit 282. Text “PARTY” to 83043 for more info and $1 off.

If you’re a single parent, for any reason, just about any age, you should go to this class! I always felt the spirit and learned so much. The teacher is great. Here’s the info:

“GOSPEL PERSPECTIVES ON LDS SINGLE PARENT ISSUES”

This class is designed to uplift and assist LDS singles and single parents through the application of gospel principles to the particular challenges of single parents. Develop friendships as you strengthen your testimony!

Class will held Tuesday evenings, 7:00 – 8:45 p.m., September 9 – December 9, 2008 at the Orem Northridge Stake Center chapel (1674 North 200 West) for singles of all ages. You may register at http://ce.byu.edu/ed/ and click on “Adult Religion Classes” or register at the door (it is much quicker online).

Topics to be addressed include:

-Maintaining faith and hope

-Healing from the past & moving on

-Fitting in your ward family

-Dating & courtship

-Dealing with adversity

-Forgiveness

-Overcoming fears and loneliness

-Becoming whole through Christ

-Maintaining morality

-Handling finances and becoming self-reliant

-Parenting issues

-Helping children deal with death or divorce

-The priesthood and the single parent family

-Blending families

Registration is $17.50 for the entire class or $2.50 per class. Students may join the class at any time. Sister Cheryl Merrell, M.S., Certified Family Life Educator and single parent will be the instructor.

This is NOT a parenting class, although that is a small part of what will be covered. The class covers a wide range of topics of interest to single parents and single adults. Call the instructor at 431-0383 if you have questions.

It’s time to update you on the status of the LDS singles blog crew.

Married Life
This summer we got married. What I mean is: Paul got married, I got married, and I believe that Melissa Ray got married too. It does happen (I know it often seems impossible!). So we’re no longer LDS singles, we’re LDS marrieds (I should start an LDS marrieds blog next).

I married a man who is not active LDS - it was a long journey to get there. I won’t say that is anyone else’s answer but it was where I was led.

Paul’s wife is expecting their first baby. Congratulations!

New LDS dating web site LDSFriends.com
We lauched a new version of LDSFriends.com - an LDS community and LDS dating web site. LDSFriends is free and has been around since 1996.

Looking for Writers for Utah Singles Blog
I’m still writing on this blog but I’m looking for new writers to contribute. If you’re an LDS single, and are interested in helping out, please email me at grocerybike at gmail.com and tell me a bit about yourself and how often you can contribute. Topics can be about your dating experiences, tips, insights, and gospel themes.

I’m looking for regular contributors - who want to learn how to blog or you can email me your posts and I’ll update the site. I’m also interested in guest posts from dating experts or others who want exposure to the LDS singles community.

Here is a dating workshop and cruises for LDS Singles:

FIND LASTING LOVE: Relationship Experts expose THE secrets you need to know for success in dating and love.

PRESENTED BY:
Val Baldwin, CPC -Certified Relationship Coach - ABC TV’s Relationship Expert -Popular Public Speaker - Author
www.valbaldwin.com

Alisa Goodwin Snell, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist - Utah’s Dating Coach - Popular Public Speaker - Author
www.utahsdatingcoach.com

LEARN:
o The 3-Part Formula for Relationship Success that Every Single Must Know
o Essential Methods to Finding “The One”.
o Learn All the Tricks to Flirt Like a Superstar!
o Bridge the Gender Gap: Finally Undersatnd What He/She is Really Thinking
o 17 Secrets to the Male and Female Psychology
o 100’s of Tips from Flirting to First Date to Engagement and Beyond

DETAILS:
WHEN: Saturday, October 18, 2008
10am-5pm FULL DAY WORKSHOP

WHERE: Downtown Salt Lake City Library, 210 E 400 S, SLC, Utah 84111, 4th floor

COST: $135, includes workbook and light refreshments. RECEIVE A 30%
DISCOUNT PRICE OF $95 for registration before October 1.

SEATING IS LIMITED: Register early to secure your seat.

REGISTRATION: To find out more and register online, click here: http://www.valbaldwin.com/seminars.html.
If you have difficulty completing the registration process, you may contact Alisa directly at alisa@askalisa.org or call 801-447-6000.

LDS MID-SINGLES CRUISE Eastern Caribbean

DETAILS

Price $549.00 Ship Norwegian Dawn

Leaving January 24, 2009 Returning January 31, 2009

Ports of Call Miami; Samana; St. Thomas; Tortola; Great Stirrup Cay

* $549.00 does not include taxes, fuel charges, and airfare. Fares shown are in U.S. dollars and are per person, based on double occupancy.

* PASSPORTS ARE NOW REQUIRED FOR TRAVEL. PLEASE PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

RESERVATIONS & QUESTIONS TRAVEL AGENT LDS SINGLES TRAVEL COORDINATORS

Piper Andrea & Melissa - 801.523.8030 or 800.728.1506 801.330.9715

piper@yourvacationstation.com ldssinglescruise2009@gmail.com

GROUP DISCOUNTS - Book by 07/30/2008 and use Group Code LDS09 for a discount.

It is time to start planning for the annual LDS Singles Cruise to the CARIBBEAN!!!! This year I picked an AWESOME itinerary, where you will find many great opportunities for great shore excursions and especially scuba diving!

We will be visiting the Western Caribbean for 7 days ~Grand Cayman, Belize, Roatan, Cozumel~

This cruise is over President’s Day so hopefully that will provide an opportunity for more to travel with us. Your Deposit is due Sept 18th and is 100% refundable until December 2nd, so book soon to lock in the current prices! See below for basic information!

As always check out the official cruise website at www.party-cruising.com

Carnival Cruiseline (Valor) February 15-22, 2009 Inside Oceanview Balcony
4 per cabin *$658.19 *$748.19 *$873.19
3 per cabin *$694.02 *$804.02 *$954.02
2 per cabin *$765.69 *$915.69 *$1115.19
Payments
Submit your $250 Deposit by September 18th to reserve your spot and guarantee these prices!
This Deposit is is 100% refundable until our final payment date on December 2nd.

***You are only guaranteed to be included in our group emails and be assigned in our group dining area if you book with party-cruising and suitedreamstravel.***

Call Sarah Alley at 801-278-9872 for booking TODAY!

For Questions email Calli Savage at partycruising@gmail.com or Sarah Alley at suite.dreams.travel@hotmail.com

Here is a list of LDS single’s events in Utah and other states

2nd Annual “Adventure By The Bay” Mid-Singles Conference/Ultimate Weekend in San Francisco

When: Sept 12-14, 2008
Where: San Francisco, California
Who: LDS singles ages 27-45
For more info: www.sfmidsingles.com

Join Mid-Singles from across the USA for the Ultimate Vacation Weekend! Not your typical singles conference: it’s an amazing weekend for LDS Mid-Singles ages 27-45 year old packed with great activities, incredible sights, sounds, and flavors in a world-famous city.

A blow-out kick-off party at the uber-cool Metreon Center will be followed by an optional late night tour of SF via British-style double-decker buses. Saturday includes lots of games, activities, a service project & devotional plus catered lunch all at the waterfront Crissy Field park with views of the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. That night will be an ice cream sundae party at world-famous Ghirardelli Square, followed by a fabulous boat cruise and dance around the Bay.

The weekend officially concludes with a wonderful day on Oakland’s Temple Hill including Sacrament Meeting including a keynote address by Elder Dalton for 1,000+ Mid-Singles, a sweet dessert party, special tours of a stunning new art exhibit at the Visitor’s Center, closing fireside, and more. An optional tour of Alcatraz -aka “The Rock”- on Monday morning is also being planned.

Base-ticket pricing starting at only $99 per guest, plus optional add-ons, a savings of over $100! Tickets are going fast and there is limited space for men and women. Reserve your spot now by visiting: www.sfmidsingles.com

Lehi Mid-singles Conference

Mid-single’s Conference in Lehi, Utah. Read the attachment (that is not included but which you can email for) for registration information.

Ages 31+

The keynote speaker is Sister Kristen Oaks (a fabulous woman who married Elder Oaks at the age of 52. It was her first marriage).

Registration deadline is Sept. 6, 2008. Contact lehisa84043@yahoo.com or call 800-541-4139

Sunday Singles Bash - Sunday, September 14, 7pm

Sunday Sweets, Snacks and S’mores Shindig

Tara Savage (Calli’s cousin) has moved here from CT and we are celebrating!

So Bring your favorite Sweets….I mean Desserts! Snacks and S’more makin’s and we will have the firepit ready to go!

Calli, Heather, Marie and Becky are hosting

1365 McCormick Circle
SLC, UT 84121

Directions: Take I-215 to the 2000 E exit, turn South. Go to 7200 S (not Ft. Union Blvd) turn West at the light. Follow 7200 S west until the end of the road. PARK AT THE CHURCH (please, SMILEY) on the right and walk to our house!

It is in the second cul-de-sac on the left!

See you Sunday!!!

U of U Institute Black Light Special (dance) - Friday,  September 19th

8pm - 12am UofU Institute

This Black Light Special is going to be one of the hugest stomps ever. There is going to be 2 dance floors that will be decked out with black lights with country on one side and top 40 on the other. For those of you who want to learn how to country swing (yee ha) or brake dance we will be teaching ONLY for the first hour (thats 8:00-9:00) This is a great way to learn Along with dancing there will be self serve icecream, refresments, blow up toys, machanical bull (with prizes), largest speed dating ever, photo booth, and of course thousands of singles. I guarantee this is the place your going to want to be.

HUMANITARIAN AID RELIEF TEAM FUNDRAISING BASH!! Sept 27th

Biggest party of the year!

Huge bon fire, outdoor movie, D.J. and dancing, raffles, and more!!

$10 only!!

H.A.R.T. will be doing one of the largest medical missions in its 11 year history in Kakamega, Kenya in November 2008. We need your help in making this medical mission a success!!!!

Time: Sat, Sept 27 9:00 until 1:00 am

Location: The Dastrup Ranch 1077 HillSide Drive, Provo, UT 84604

The Ranch is located just east of Osmond Lane. For more information on H.A.R.T. please visit www.HartAfrica.com or call Deena at 801-668-0306 or Chalet at 801-995-1164

Last night as I was leaving a family party, I was stopped by a relative who put his arm around my back and proceeded to warn me. He said that in 2-3 weeks there will be a worldwide flu that starts in China. He said we will all need at least 3 months of food storage to survive, because the flu is passed by contact. If you go to the store or pump gas, you’ll contract it. So you can’t leave your home. Then priesthood leaders will lead us to safe places that they’ve been amassing.
All who are left behind will face civil war, then WW3 will break out.  He told me I would probably think he’s crazy, and he’s right, I do. Then last night I drempt of snakes - cropping up from the ground all over. I wish I could say I was making all of this up, but I’m not. I didn’t stick around to ask who told him this - I prefer to get news like that from the prophet. Do you think he’d know about it and not tell us?
However, food storage has been a somewhat growing theme lately. It’s one that troubles me. The stats say that most of us don’t have food storage as we’ve been commanded to for years. Whenever I hear information about it, the advice is constantly changing and it all seems a bit doom/gloom. I think I’ve seen more food and water wasted in the name of food storage. I also wonder if there’s a better way to amass and store it. I have so many questions.

If you rotate your food storage and make sure it’s not out-of-date, you better buy it in intravals and have a well-laid-out plan. You must eat it frequently (except for grains, which can be stored for 20-30 years and still be useable - and that should be your basis). If you’re a single parent or single or even poor and live in small places, your home could get overwhelmed by food. Stashing food under the bed and everywhere possible makes me feel like there is no space - it’s crowded out.

Also, consider that most people move at least every 5 years. Try moving that food storage! I remember a move from Oregon - we had so much wheat that we almost needed a semi for just the wheat - which was for our family of 8.

I wish there was a communal solution - a storage place in the basement of the church which you could buy into. Or, set up space in neighborhoods or areas. Some sort of co-op that stays when you move (and you participate in one where you  live). Maybe you could buy shares and elect officers. I’m not sure. All I know is I don’t believe people don’t live this because they are disobedient or unfaithful. In fact, the families I’ve seen live it the best have large homes (basements and pantries) and tend to be more wealthy overall. I’m not saying that you have to be rich to have food storage, but that these are often families that are stable in other ways.

What do you think? What could we do better to encourage food storage? Do you think you’ll have to rely on your food storage in some major calamity in coming days? Why or why not?

How do we as faithful members of the church.

My brother met a woman on an LDS dating site a few years ago. Over time they began to IM and later to talk on the phone. She was going to Harvard to be a doctor, is in her mid-20s and is beautiful. She and my brother started talking quite a bit and he thought he was falling in love with her. There was only one problem - when she finally moved to Utah, and it was possible they could meet in real life - she always had last minute excuses and they never ended up meeting.

The excuses this woman made up got more and more out there and I was telling my brother that she probably wasn’t all she said she was. He was obviously affected each time she made plans and then backed out. She even went so far as to say that she needed heart surgery in another state. Also, that she went to Europe because her grandmother died. And then she got sick and had jet lag. It went on and on.

Our mom decided my brother should do some more research about his Internet girlfriend.  Pretty soon my brother found some other men who were corresponding with the same woman. Come to find out she was stringing them along with the exact same stories. She was talking on the phone to a few different guys - sometimes for several hours a day. He had lunch with one guy who was engaged to her but she stood him up when they were supposed to meet. He almost bought the ring but said he’d prefer she come with him to pick it up.

My brother confronted her and she admitted that she didn’t live in Utah, wasn’t who she said she was. She and her friends have a good time leading men on. What a waste. So what the moral of the story is - a real, average-looking person is much better than a beautiful, rich imaginary one. While it’s sad that she managed to lead so many men on, it’s also sad that they were so willing to buy into the fantasy.

I found a book that I must share. I firmly believe that if we truly desire marriage, we should work on it and study it while we’re still single. After all, we attract what we focus on and think about. This could be taken to an obsessive extreme, but I want to address it from a position of balance.

When I got married the first time I had unrealistic expectations of marriage, which is completely natural. Most of us do. Plus, I was young and still learning who I was, let alone learning about someone else. When you’re older you could be either unnecessarily pessimistic or overly idealistic about what marriage is.

The book is called, “Saving your Marriage Before it Starts.” It speaks about how attending church and praying together helps turn you & your spouse into soul mates. You need the extra meaning that having Heavenly Father in your relationship provides.

“breakdowns in communication…most occur when we urgently want to avoid the emotional pain of feeling inadequate, vulnerable, fearful, and so on. When we feel inadequate we are saying “I you really knew what I was like, you might not like me.” When we feel vulnerable: “If I told you my real feelings, you might hurt me.” Fearful: “If I expressed my anger, it would destroy you” or “If I told you how I felt, you would get angry.”

Women need this from their husbands: 1 - to be cherished 2- to be known, 3- to be respected

Men need this from their wives: 1 - to be admired 2- to have autonomy 3- to enjoy shared activities

I think these principles apply with anyone you’re close to. The book is really a practical guide to good relationships, but specifically in marriage.  This along with another favorite, “Boundaries in Marriage” should be on the list for anyone considering marriage. I also really like, “The Grown-Up Marriage.”

I learned something from Paul Wilson that I thought was so valuable that it changed the way break ups went for me. Usually I told the person as gently as possible that I wanted to end the relationship and after one talk or call, considered it over. I figured it was the other person’s job to work through the breakup emotionally. But I confided in Paul that I thought a recent breakup was difficult for my former boyfriend. He gave me some advice that I didn’t like and wasn’t going to follow. But after he explained it, I decided to try out his ideas.

When possible, let the person know that you are willing to talk about the breakup. Let them ask questions and be willing to listen. Be clear that you’re not discussing how to get back together, but you want to be supportive. You are doing them a kindness and the reward is that it provides closure for you too. Tell them you’re available to discuss it again a few more times if they still need to talk.

So that’s what I did. We had one good discussion and then an email. One of the last questions he asked me was to tell him why I loved him. That was easy! I had many reasons. His reply made me think that he understood that I meant it. I felt peaceful and calm knowing that I think he stopped doubting my sincerity. I think it helped both of us.

I hate breaking up or being broken up. Since I know myself well, I can usually tell if a few months if a relationship will work or not. Thanks to Paul for encouraging me to try his way - I wish all breakups were like this.

Whenever I get a chance I like to attend institute and religion classes. If you’re aged 18-30 you can get a list of institute classes where you live from LDS.org. If you date online like I do, this is a safe first date. Meet at the class. Sometimes there are free activities after. Research shows that when your dating centers on building a spiritual foundation you have a higher likelihood of being stronger and happier if you get married. So why not start dating off right.

If you’re over 30, then BYU offers adult religion classes all over the country. Some are just for singles, others don’t specify. The cost is usually under $20 for 4 months of classes. I took an excellent class on the atonement that was at MountainView’s seminary building but I no longer see it listed. Here’s another class specifically for LDS singles in American Fork, Utah.

If you’re divorced and live close to Orem, Utah, sign up for Cheryl Merrell’s Gospel Perspectives on LDS Single- Parent Issues. This class is so valuable I wish they made videos of it or taught it around the entire church. The next series starts in the Fall at the Orem Utah Northridge Stake Center - 1674 North 200 West.  Contact: Karen Spangler - 801-422-8782.

The single parenting class covers fitting into your ward family, dating, blending families, and other issues. The teacher has been divorced and widowed so she has been a single parent twice for different reasons. I always felt the strongest spirit in those classes and looked forward to them every week. Not only did I learn so much but I also felt I wasn’t alone at a difficult time. Single parents in all circumstances and of many different ages attend.